I'm just a few months away from turning 21 and in the past few years I have noticed that I have been getting more and more irritable and it's getting to the point lately that I get anxious and feel like I'm going to explode (especially when I'm studying) and I will throw my books, pens, anything I have in my hands. Sometimes I feel so high and I feel like I can conquer the world, but then it feels like that all crashes down on me. At that point I get really down on myself and I'll go run on the treadmill way too fast or just bury my head in my pillow and punch the bed as hard as I can. I hate the way I'm acting when I do this, but I can't seem to break myself out of it for a while. I get very mean to my boyfriend, and after I'm done with my tantrum I apologize to him like there's no tomorrow. I've heard some about Bipolar Disorder... could that be what I'm struggling with? Who can I talk to about this? I really want to be myself again.

Thank you for your question regarding your cyclical mood behavior.

When we evaluate mood cycling either here at the Student Health Center or at the Counseling Center, we take a complete history, including extended family history to try to help determine what the cause may be. There are many varied reasons for mood cycling, including Bipolar Disorder, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, personality disorders, substance use/abuse, hormonal changes and others, so only a very careful history, lab work and possibly psychological testing will help sort out what is going on and what might be the most effective therapy.

Since it sounds as though, at times, it interferes with what you want to do and how you interact, we would suggest that you seek further evaluation with either one of the physicians specializing in mental health at the Health Center, or with one of the therapists at the Counseling Center.