Embarassment
The victim may be embarrassed to discuss the physical details of the assault. Our bodies and sexual activity have always been regarded as private and their privacy has been savagely stripped from them by another. Telling anyone at all, including medical and law enforcement personnel, may be painful.

Wondering, "Why me?"
Some victims wonder why the rapist chose them. What is it about them that separates them from others? These feelings arise from the common mistaken belief that rape happens to victims who "ask for it", or who in some other way made themselves noticeable. It may be helpful to them to know that this is a common, normal feeling of rape victims and that anyone can be raped. To help the victim see this, try to get them to tell you how they came in contact with the rapist before the rape occurred. The rapist probably maneuvered the situation to lead to the rape. In short, they should be reminded that the rapist made the decision to assault them.

Anger
This can be one of the more healthy feelings felt by rape victims, yet it is not commonly seen immediately after a rape. When it is seen in the early stages of the rape trauma syndrome, it is often misdirected anger (directed at family, the system, or generalized to all men, if it was a male perpetrator). If the victim is directing their anger at the rapist, they should be encouraged to express it freely. If they are misdirecting their anger, try to help them understand what they are doing, and help them to identify the person they are really angry at. It may be, also, that the victim is angry at themselves for allowing themselves to get into the situation; this is a form of misdirected anger.

How to help the healing process:

Counseling:
Many survivors find it helpful to talk to a counselor trained to understand and assist victims of sexual
assault.

Counseling may be useful for recovering a sense of control over your life, thinking through the pros and cons of reporting, getting back on track academically, deciding who will be the best support during recovery, coping with not being believed, or dealing with self blame and loss of confidence.

Regardless of how much time has passed since the sexual assault, counseling is available. Call CASAS, 650-3700 for more information.