"I was 18 and he was my first boyfriend. I'll call him Taylor even though it's not his real name. Taylor was way more experienced in dating and sex then I was. He was my first real kiss. I told him from the start that I didn't want to have sex so that we could have an understanding. He agreed and said that he respected my decision to wait, but not a day went by that he didn't let me know he was thinking about having sex. Two weeks into our relationship, he asked me to give him a blow job. I said I didn't feel comfortable doing that yet and he told me he was sorry for bringing it up. We started cuddling which lead to kissing, which was normal, we always kissed. I closed my eyes to enjoy the closeness of my new boyfriend and then opened them because I felt a weight on my stomach. He was on top of me and had unbuttoned his jeans. I was an inch from his erect penis. He held me wrists down and told me that I was doing this to him. I tried to object but I was scared. I was afraid that if I didn't do it he would push sex on me. I was afraid of him being mad and calling me a prude. Mostly, I think I was afraid of being alone. I didn't have much time to think before he pushed his penis in my mouth. It tasted horrible and I felt strange. I started crying and he asked me why I had to make him feel guilty like that, why I made him feel like an asshole. It took me four years before I could call that rape. I kept thinking that it was my fault, or that other girls had it worse, or that I was being baby about it, or that oral sex wasn't rape. The truth is that forced sexual activity of any kind, penetration of the mouth, anus or vagina by a penis or other object is rape. It felt good to finally label my pain. There is something empowering about labeling your pain and then being able to move on with the healing process." -Female Western Student

"I was 25, I was in the army, I was confident, I was raped! It was Friday, my "friend" had been to see me. We had had a good dinner, some drinks, good conversation, and good "relations". I was in my pajamas ready to go to bed early. At nine my colleague (let's call him John) came to visit me, he had been drinking too. I asked if he was hungry, I had plenty of left-overs. He had some dinner and we continued to drink. About thirty minutes after John arrived another of our colleagues (let's call him Billy) arrived with his friend, another soldier (let's call him Tom). I fed them as well. We all continued to drink. Now, this is were my story becomes hazy. At some point we went down to Tom's apartment (he lived a few stories below me). His apartment was as small as mine, 356 sq ft. On the left he had a queen size mattress on the right was a computer. The computer was on and had the most alluring screensaver. It was a woman on her knees leaning forward, she was naked. Although she was curvaceous and beautiful, what I remember the most were her eyes. She had the most astounding eyes. The next thing I remember is being in my apartment. I was sitting on my bed, John was passed out on the floor next to my bed, Billy and Tom were standing around me. I was throwing up in a paper bag. One of them were feeding me ramen noodles. When I was not throwing up, I was leaning up against Tom's chest for support. I could not support myself. I remember Billy and Tom arguing about who should stay with me. They did not think I should be alone. They agreed that Tom should stay, since he worked in the hospital. After that, I passed out. Hard movements, someone was moving me around, something was pushing me, pushing up into me, it hurt, it was hard, it was big, it was fast. I woke up. I was on my side. Tom was behind me. It hurt. It was hard. It was big. It was fast. Tom was hurting me. He was . . . I asked what was going on, what was happening. Then I started pushing him. Thats when he got up. He had a weird facial expression. He almost looked shocked. It was as if I was wrong for waking up. He ran out of my apartment. It was 4.30 am. I had just been raped. I reported it to the police, did a rape kit at the hospital, talked to a detective. He will be prosecuted both in the military and the civilian justice systems for 2nd degree rape. I know he will be convicted in the military and hopefully also in the civilian."

Add your story here by e-mailing Devlin.