Women of Color Network

Website: http://womenofcolornetwork.org/

Incite – Women of Color Against Violence

Website: http://www.incite-national.org/index.php?s=37

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies in 80 Languages

Website: http://www.hotpeachpages.net/index.html

National Latino Alliance Against Domestic Violence

Website: http://www.dvalianza.org/

Institute on Domestic Violence in African American Communities

Website: http://www.dvinstitute.org/

Asian & Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence

Website: http://www.apiahf.org/apidvinstitute/default.htm

Safety Tips

Abusive Relationship Warning Signs:

• Your partner is jealous and possessive towards you.
• Your partner tries to control you by being bossy and never considers your opinions.
• Your partner scares you, making you afraid of how s/he will react to things you do or say.
• Your partner has a quick temper and history of violence towards others.
• Your partner pressures you into doing things that you do not want to do, such as having sex or breaking the law.
• Your partner abuses illegal drugs and alcohol.
• Your partner blames you for their problems, including those they brought upon themselves.
• Your partner has a history of bad relationships.
• Your partner believes that in relationships men should take the lead and women should follow.
• Your family and friends have warned you about your partner or told you that they are worried for your safety.
• Relationship violence includes emotional, physical, and verbal abuse.
• Both men and women can be victims or perpetrators of relationship violence.
• Same sex relationships can also include emotional, physical, and/ or verbal abuse.

Reducing your risk for sexual assault:

• Always use the buddy system, especially when going to parties or other events on or off campus.
• Use Western's personal safety escorts, or "Green Coats", who provide safety services on campus. They are available at x3555 between 4 p.m. to 8 a.m. to walk with you or drive you to any location on campus.
• Communicate your wants early. Know what your limits are for both alcohol and sex before going to a party or bar.
• Be assertive about communicating what you want from another person. Ask the person you are with to do the same.
• Trust your instincts. If a situation feels uncomfortable for you, there is probably a good reason.
• Be aware of the effects of alcohol on your body. Alcohol interrupts the ability to make sound decisions and impairs your ability to communicate clearly.
• Do not leave your drink unattended, especially at a bar or a party.
• Avoid being alone with an unfamiliar person, especially when alcohol is involved. If you are alone, make sure that your friends know where you are and how long you'll be gone.
• When on a date with someone new, make sure that you are responsible for your own transportation. It is always safer to meet someone than to rely on an unfamiliar person for a ride.
• Take a self-defense class. This may increase your confidence to be assertive in uncomfortable situations. Both men and women can be the victim or perpetrator of sexual violence.

If you are sexually assaulted or involved in an abusive relationship, know that it isn't your fault. Perpetrators are responsible for committing the crime and need to be held accountable for their actions.

Same-Sex Violence

Battering and sexual violence in same-gender relationships are issues rarely talked about. Until recently relationship abuse within the lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender communities was systematically minimized or completely denied. However, as found by Renzetti (1992), the existence of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in lesbian relationships occurs at approximately the same rate as in heterosexual relationships, one in four. To begin talking about this issue we need to educate ourselves and others about the true dynamics of same-gender battering.

• Myth: Abuse/battering that occurs in same-gender relationships is usually mutual.
  Fact: True "mutual battering" is rare. A consensual "fight" is not going on. A cycle of violence that includes control and domination by one of the partners is occurring. Many victims will attempt to defend themselves by fighting back.
• Myth: Same-gender domestic violence is sexual behavior, a version of sadomasochism. The victims actually like it and agree to it.
  Fact: Domestic violence is not sexual behavior. In S&M relationships, there is usually some contract or agreement about the limits and boundaries of the behavior, even when pain is involved. Domestic Violence involves no such contract. Domestic violence is abuse, manipulation and control that is unwanted by the victim.
• Myth: Domestic violence primarily occurs among LGBT people who hang out at bars, are poor, or are people of color.
  Fact: Domestic violence is a non-discriminatory phenomenon; victims as well as violent and abusive offenders come from all walks of life, all ethnic groups, all socioeconomic groups, and all educational levels.

Battering has long been one of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community's "best kept secrets". In some ways, violence in same-gender relationships resembles violence in heterosexual relationships:

• Violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or verbal.
• The purpose of abuse is to get and maintain control and power over one's intimate partner.
• The abused may feel isolated, terrified, and debilitated by the violence.
• Abuse does not happen all the time, it often occurs in a cyclical fashion.
• Unpredictable attacks are a part of the tyranny.
• The victim/survivor may feel as if s/he cannot do anything right.
• Domestic violence can be lethal.
• The myth persists that abuse is a relationship problem and may be mutual.
• A sense of entitlement exists among perpetrators; they believe that they have the right to empower themselves by disempowering others.
• Abuse in the home severely impacts the children living in that home, whether or not they are the direct recipient of the abuse.
• Substance abuse may make domestic violence more dangerous and damaging.

In other ways, however, violence in same-gender relationships differs from violence in heterosexual relationships:

• Lesbians and gay men who have been abused have much more difficulty finding support.
• The isolation, that already accompanies being LGBT person in a society prejudiced against LGBT people, is compounded and made worse by domestic violence. The silence about domestic violence among LGBT people further isolates the victim/survivor as well as the perpetrator.
• Utilizing existing services may be tantamount to "coming out" which is a major life decision.

Support services and friends often minimize domestic violence:

• The battered women's movement avoids the fact that women can be as violent and dangerous as men.
• It is assumed that two men or two women in a fight constitutes a fight between equals.
• GBT men often reject the idea that they can be victims within their own community.
• LGBT people approach most shelters, social service agencies, and providers with great caution. Their fear of further victimization through minimizing or disregarding their circumstance remains, along with the fear of rejection and degradation
• There are no residential shelter services for GBT men in Bellingham. Bellingham's LGBT community is small. Privacy is often difficult to maintain. In all likelihood both the survivor and the abuser may lose their privacy, be "outed" or become the subject of gossip.
• The risk of losing their children to third parties is even greater for lesbian and gay couples when domestic violence is involved.
• Victims may not be as financially dependent on their partners; and children may not be a consideration as often.

Information provided by Wingspan Domestic Violence Project, Tucson, Arizona (2000).

Same-gender battering and sexual violence is an issue everywhere, including here at Western. To find out more about this issue or to learn about available resources, call CASAS, Western's Crime And Sexual Assault Support Services. 650-3700.

Sexual Harassment

What is Sexual Harassment?

1.) Sexual Harassment is deliberate and/or repeated sexual behavior that is not welcome, and not asked for. There are three forms:

• Physical - touching, pinching, and grabbing body parts, being cornered
• Verbal - making sexual gestures, looks, jokes, or verbal comments, spreading sexual rumors or making sexual propositions
• Visual - sending sexual notes or pictures, writing sexual graffiti

2.) Hostile Environment is any sexually oriented conduct or atmosphere that is intimidating or offensive to a "reasonable victim" who is exposed to the sexual harassment of another person.

3.) Quid Pro Quo means "you do something for me, I'll do something for you" in Latin. Examples of this form of sexual harassment would be trading sexual favors for grades.

The following 3 things have to exist before something is considered sexual harassment:

• The behavior must be sexual in nature and sex-based.
• The behavior must be unwelcome and unwanted.
• The behavior must be deliberate and/or repeated.

Sexual Harassment's Impact on the Individual:

Emotional Reactions:

Anxiety, anger, fear, frustration, insecurity, betrayal, embarrassment, confusion, self-consciousness, shame, powerlessness, guilt, isolation, lack of control.

Physical Reactions:

Headaches, sleeplessness, stomach aches, weight gain or loss, phobias, panic attacks, nightmares.

Social Effects:

Withdrawal, fear of new people or situations, lack of trust, self-preoccupation, changes in dress or physical appearance, negative attitudes.

Academic Effects:

Changes in study or work habits, loss of job or promotion, negative performance evaluations, drop in work performance due to stress, lower grades as punishment for reporting sexual harassment or for turning down sexual advances.

How NOT to Harass:

• Until you learn otherwise, assume that a person you don't know well will not enjoy sexual jokes or sexual advances.
• Work on your listening skills. If a person's response, whether verbal or physical, seems negative, trust that it is. Does he or she avert their eyes?
• Assume no means no
• Put yourself in their place. Would you want your sister, brother, girlfriend, or boyfriend treated that way?
• If you think you have offended someone, try to discuss the matter directly and apologize, and don't engage in the behavior again.
• Refrain from telling jokes that demean men or women.
• Speak up when you see someone harassing another individual. If you are feeling uncomfortable, there is a chance that other people are feeling uncomfortable too.

Some Statistics

• An average of 59% of females who work have personally experienced sexual harassment. (1)
• 4 out of 5 students report having been the target of sexual harassment at school. (3)
• 85% of girls and 76% of boys report having been sexually harassed. (3)
• More than one-third of students have been the target of sexual rumors. (3)
• When sexual harassment occurs, it is usually not a single event: 39% of girls reported being harassed at school on a daily basis. (4)

Sources:

1. Sexual Harassment Resources Guide, Barbara Cook Washington State Human Rights Commission. Revised 1992.
2. Working woman United Institute, NY 1974.
3. Hostile Hallways: The AAUW Survey on Sexual Harassment in America's School (1993).
4. Secrets in Public: Sexual Harassment in Our Schools. Seventeen Magazine (1993).

Stalking

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Simply stated, "stalking" is any unwanted contact between the stalker and the victim that communicates a direct or indirect threat and that causes the victim to fear for her/his safety and/or the safety of family members.

How common is stalking in the United States?

• 8.2 million (1 out of 12) women and 2 million (1 out of 45) men will be stalked at some point in their lives.
• 1.4 million people are stalked annually. (Source: Tjaden Report: NVAW Survey, 1998)

How common is stalking on College Campuses?

• 27% of female students and 15% of male students reported that they had been the victim of stalking (Source: Fremou et al. "Stalking on Campus: the Prevalence and Strategies for Coping with Stalking", 1997)

Relationship Between Victim and Stalker

• 77% of female victims know their stalker
• 64% of male victims know their stalker
• 60% of female victims are stalked by an intimate partner (current/former spouse, cohabitant, boyfriend, or girlfriend)
• 30% of men are stalked by an intimate partner (i.e., 70% of men are stalked by an acquaintance or a stranger). (Source: Tjaden Report: NVAW Survey, 1998)

Most Common Types of Stalking Behaviors Reported by Victims

• Female stalking victims most often report being followed, spied on, and receiving unwanted/harassing telephone calls.
• Equal percentages of male and female victims report receiving unwanted letters or items, having their property vandalized, and their pets threatened or even killed.
• Fewer than 50% of both male and female victims report being directly threatened by their stalkers (i.e., majority of stalkers do not threaten their victims verbally or in writing; rather, they most often engage in a course of conduct, that taken in context or as a whole, causes the victim to fear harm). (Source: Tjaden Report: NVAW Survey, 1998)

Common Characteristics of Stalkers

• Jealous
• Narcissistic
• Obsessive/Compulsive
• Manipulative/Controlling
• Socially awkward
• Views self as victim of society, family, and others
• Unable to take "no" for an answer
• Deceptive
• Difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality
• Sense of entitlement
• Unable to cope with rejection
• Dependent on others for sense of self
• Blames problems on others
• Above-average intelligence

4 Different Stalking Types

1. Love Obsessed Stalker
• Stalker has had no relationship or only a very casual relationship with the victim (e.g., stranger, neighbor, coworker, classmate, acquaintance)
• Mental disorders
• Delusional thought patterns
• Socially insecure
• Low self-esteem
• Victims include celebrities, athletes, politicians, and ordinary people
2. Erotomanic Stalker
• Stalker has no personal relationship with the victim, but believes he/she is loved by the victim
• Mental disorders (e.g., schizophrenia or paranoia)
• Delusional
• Little or no history of romantic involvement
• Lives a "fantasy" life
• Victims are most often celebrities, or public figures
3. imple Obsession Stalker
• Stalker has had personal relationship, most often intimate relationship with the victim (e.g., spouse, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, casual date)
• Personality disorders
• Socially maladjusted
• Feelings of powerlessness
• Dependent on the partner for sense of self-worth
• Low self-esteem
• Controlling and domineering toward partner
4. Domestic Violence-Related Stalker
• Most common and dangerous type of stalking
• Domestic violence victims run a 75% higher risk of being murdered by their partners
• Highest risk to domestic violence victim is when she or he leaves their abusive partner; stalking often begins or escalates at this point

Cyberstalking:

Online stalking is rising as technology continues to develop. Examples of online stalking include:

• Unwanted/unsolicited e-mail
• Unwanted/unsolicited talk requests in chat rooms
• Disturbing messages on bulletin boards
• Unsolicited communications about you, your family, friends, acquaintances, and coworkers
• Identity theft
• Sending/posting disturbing messages with your user name
• 25% of the stalking incidents among college women involve cyberstalking
• Internet Safety Tips:
• Don't use your real name or nickname as your screen name or user ID. Instead, use a name that is both gender and age neutral and don't post personal information about yourself in your user profile.
• Don't share your password with anyone online, especially if you receive an instant message.
• Don't provide your credit card number or other personal information as proof of age to access or subscribe to a website you're not familiar with.
• Don't share your primary e-mail address with people you don't know or trust.
• When you chat online or post to a newsgroup or mailing list, be careful and only express thoughts/ideas that you would be willing to say in a fact-to-face conversation.
• Exercise caution when meeting an online acquaintance in person; if you do choose to meet the person, make sure you meet in a public place and, if possible, bring a friend.
• If you receive an angry/hostile electronic message, do not respond since this is how some online harassment situations begin.
• If you feel that you need to respond, make it clear to the person that you would not like him/her to contact you again.
• If a situation becomes hostile, log off or surf elsewhere; if the situation places you in fear, save any messages you have received and contact a local law enforcement agency.
• Keep copies of all electronic messages you receive or unwanted online communications. Do not edit or alter them in any way and place them in a separate folder on your hard drive or on a diskette. Also, print out hard copies of all messages, chat logs, etc.
• Notify the University Police and CASAS 650-3700.

What you can do to protect yourself:

• Know what the definition of stalking means.
• If you think you are being stalked, don't hesitate to call the police, the campus police or CASAS.
• If your stalker is someone you know, don't tiptoe around how you feel. People in our society are taught to not except no as an answer. If you tell someone that is stalking you that "you just want to be friends" or " I'm not ready for a relationship" then you are leaving room for the possibility that he/she has a chance at a relationship with you in the future.
• Tell someone! Remember that the law about stalking is made to protect the victim. It can only make things better.
• There are a ton of resources on stalking. Don't be afraid to take a look. Here are just a few:
• De Becker, Gavin (1997) The Gift of Fear, Little Brown and com.
• De Becker, Gavin(1999) Protecting the Gift, Random house
• Schraum, Melita and Parrish, Karen(1995) Stalked, Braking the Silence of the crime of Stalking in America, Pocket Books.
• Levy, Barrie and Giggans, Patricia(1995) What Parents Need to Know about Dating Violence, Seal Press
• National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
• www.lovemenot.org
• Call CASAS 650-3700. Western's 24-hour student help line.

How to collect evidence of stalking:

• Document all incidents (keep a stalking log or journal)
• Photographs
• Affidavits from witnesses
• Videotapes
• Answering machine tapes
• Preserve all evidence
• Letters, notes, e-mail
• Answering machine messages
• Photographs of damaged property, etc.
• Gifts

Statistics

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Rape/Sexual Assault General Characteristics:

• Around the world at least 1 woman in every 3 has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family. (Population Reports: Ending Violence Against Women, 2000. Population Information Program, Center for Communications Programs. Johns Hopkins School of Public Health and Center for Healthcare Gender Equity.)
• In 2005, over 75% of rape or sexual assault victims knew their offenders. (2005 National Crime Victimization Survey. U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. December, 2006.)
• 89% of sexual assault victims were female and 11% were male. (1999 National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS). U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Statistics. 2000.)
• In 2003, weapons were present in rapes and sexual assaults 11 percent of the time. (Bureau of Justice Statistics. 2004. Criminal Victimization, 2003. Washington , D.C. : U.S. Department of Justice.)
• When perpetrators of rape are current or former husbands or boyfriends, the crimes go unreported to police 77 percent of the time. When perpetrators are friends or acquaintances, the rapes go unreported 61 percent of the time; and when the perpetrators are strangers, the rapes go unreported 54 percent of the time. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2002)
• 10 times more rapes are reported to crisis lines than are reported to the police. (U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. 2005 National crime victimization survey.)

Child Sexual Abuse and Rape:

• 1 in 4 girls are sexually assaulted before the age of 18. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1999)
• Up to one out of six men report having had unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person by the age of 16. If we include non-contact sexual behavior, such as someone exposing him- or herself to a child, up to one in four men report boyhood sexual victimization. (Lisak, D., Hopper, J., Song, P. 1996. Factors in the cycle of violence: Gender rigidity and emotional constriction. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9: 721-743.)
• Strangers were the offenders in just 3% of sexual assaults against victims under age 6 and 5% of the sexual assault victimizations of youth ages 6 through 11. Bureau of Justice Statistics. U.S. Department of Justice. 2000. Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement: Victim, Incident, and Offender Characteristics.
• Over a third of all sexual assaults involved a victim who was under the age of 12. (Bureau of Justice Statistics. U.S. Department of Justice. 2000. Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement: Victim, Incident, and Offender Characteristics)
• Almost half of adult women with disabilities report that they were sexually abused as children, compared with 34% of non-disabled women. (Webb, Tracy . Abuse of the Disabled: Violence against Women with Disabilities. Working Against Violence in Our Community.)

Alcohol and Violence:

• Alcohol use is frequently associated with violence between intimate partners. Two-thirds of victims of intimate partner violence reported that alcohol was involved in the incident. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Alcohol and Crime, 1998)
• Perpetrators had been drinking in an estimated 45 percent of cases and victims had been drinking in 20 percent of cases. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Alcohol and Crime, 1998)
• Of the 22 substances used in drug facilitated rape, alcohol is the most common finding in investigations. (Journal of Forensic Sciences 1999)

Perpetrators:

• Only about 2 percent of all rapists are convicted and imprisoned and, on average, convicted rapists serve only one half of their original sentence... the low conviction rate is due to the difficulty of proving rape under most state laws. (Macdonalds, J. (2007). Rape. In The World Book Encyclopedia. United States of America : World Book Inc.)
• In the 1994 Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape, 1 in 12 college aged men stated that they had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape, such as “engaging in sexual intercourse with a woman when she didn't want to by threatening or using some degree of physical force". Of the men who had committed rape, 84% denied that their actions were rape. (Warshaw, 1994.)
• In the same case, only 27 percent of women who reported experiences that met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as rape victims. (Warshaw, 1994.)
• Perpetrators had been drinking in an estimated 45 percent of cases and victims had been drinking in 20 percent of cases. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Alcohol and Crime, 1998)

Sexual Violence Against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Individuals (LGBT):

• 11% of lesbians reported violence by their female partner and 15% of gay men who had lived with a male partner reported being victimized by a male partner. (National Violence Against Women Survey, 2003.)
• Eighty-eight percent of LGBT victims in 2003 and 91 percent of victims in 2004 reported experiencing prior incidents of abuse, with the majority (45 percent and 47 percent, respectively) reporting having experienced more than 10 prior incidents. ( New York Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Domestic Violence Report, 2005)
• Same-sex cohabitants reported significantly more intimate partner violence than did opposite-sex cohabitants. Among women, 39.2% of the same-sex cohabitants and 21.7 of the opposite- sex cohabitants reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a marital/cohabiting partner at some time in their lifetime. (National Violence Against Women Survey, 2000)
• 15% of men who lived with a man as a couple reported being raped/assaulted or stalked by a male cohabitant. (Saltzman, et al., 1999. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. Intimate Partner Violence Surveillance: Uniform definitions and recommended data elements.)

Male Victims of Sexual Assault:

• Males are the least likely to report a sexual assault, though it is estimated that they make up 10% of all victims (RAINN, 2006).
• 22% of male inmates have been raped at least once during their incarceration; roughly 420,000 prisoners each year (Human Rights Watch, 2001).
• Juvenile victims of sexual assault were more likely to be male (18%) than were adult victims (4%). Nearly a quarter (27%) of the victims under age 12 were male. Bureau of Justice Statistics. U.S. Department of Justice. 2000. Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement: Victim, Incident, and Offender Characteristics.
• Up to one out of six men report having had unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person by the age of 16. If we include non-contact sexual behavior, such as someone exposing him- or herself to a child, up to one in four men report boyhood sexual victimization. (Lisak, D., Hopper, J., Song, P. 1996. Factors in the cycle of violence: Gender rigidity and emotional constriction. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9: 721-743.)

Sexual Violence Against Women of Color:

• For every African American/Black woman that reports her rape, at least 15 African American/Black women do not report theirs. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report. Hart and Rennison. 2003. U.S. Department of Justice)
• Approximately 40% of Black women report coercive contact of a sexual nature by age 18. (National Black Women's Health Project)
• The National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS) found that 18.8% of African American women reported rape in their lifetime. (USDOJ, OJP, “Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey.” 2006)
• The National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS) found that 6.8% of Asian/Pacific Islander women reported rape in their lifetime. (USDOJ, OJP, “Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey.” 2006)
• API women tend to report lower rates of rape and other forms of sexual violence than do women and men from other minority backgrounds. This may be accounted for because traditional Asian values may discourage them from disclosing such victimization, even in confidential settings. (ibid.)
• According to a U.S. study of violence between intimate partners, Latinas report rape at a 2.2% higher level than white women. (USDOJ, OJP, “Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey.” 2000)
• The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 1 of 3 Native American/Alaskan Indian (NA/AI) women will be raped or sexually assaulted in her lifetime, making the average annual rate of rape and sexual assault among American Indians 3.5 times higher than for all other races. (Greenfeld, Lawrence A. & Smith, Steven K. American Indians and Crime, BJS, Office of Justice, DOJ, 1999)
• 90% of American Indian women in chemical dependency treatment are victims of rape and childhood sexual abuse. (Henry. Tribal Responses to Violence Against Women. 1998. Presentation to Federal Bar Association Conference, Indian Law Section)
• 92% of American Indian girls who have had sexual intercourse reported having been forced against their will to have sex. (National Congress of American Indians Resolution)

Partner Rape and Violence:

• Nearly 5.3 million intimate partner victimizations occur each year among U.S. women ages 18 and older. Intimate partner violence results in nearly 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths nationwide every year (Center for Disease Control 2003).
• When perpetrators of rape are current or former husbands or boyfriends, the crimes go unreported to police 77 percent of the time. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2002)
• 60 percent of female homicide victims were wives or intimate acquaintances of their killers. (FBI Supplemental Homicide Report, 1998.)
• A study of a random sample of 930 women age 18 or older indicated that nearly 14% of the women who had ever been married were the victims of at least one completed or attempted rape by their husbands or ex-husbands. (Russell, 1990. Rape in Marriage.)

Campus Sexual Violence:

• 20–25% of women will be raped during their college career. (Fisher, Bonnie S., Francis T. Cullen, and Michael G. Turner. (2000). The sexual victimization of college women. Washington , DC : U.S. Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice.)
• 3% of college women nationally have experienced rape or attempted rape during the academic year. This means, for example, that a campus with 6,000 coeds will have an average of one rape per day during the school year. (ibid)
• 13% of women are stalked during the academic year, and each stalking episode lasts an average of 60 days. (ibid)
• 90% of women in college know the person who sexually assaulted or raped them. (ibid)
• 13.3% of college women indicated that they had been forced to have sex in a dating situation. (Johnson, et al, 2000. "Forced Sexual Intercourse Among Intimates, " Journal of Interpersonal Violence.)
• 75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in date rape had been drinking or using drugs. (Koss, 1998. "Hidden rape: Incident, Prevalence and descriptive characteristics of sexual aggression and victimization in a national sample of college students." Rape and Sexual Assault, Vol.2.)
• In the 1994 Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape, 1 in 12 college aged men stated that they had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape, such as “engaging in sexual intercourse with a woman when she didn't want to by threatening or using some degree of physical force". Of the men who had committed rape, 84% denied that their actions were rape. (Warshaw, 1994.)
• The same study found that 1 in 4 women had been victims of rape or attempted rape, 84% of those raped knew their attacker, and 57% of the rapes happened on dates. Only 27% of the women whose sexual assault met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as rape victims. 42% of the rape victims told no one about the assault, and only 5% reported it to the police. (ibid)

Stalking:

• Annually in the United States , 503,485 women are stalked by an intimate partner. (Patricia Tjaden and Nancy Thoennes, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, National Institute of Justice, 2000 )
• Seventy-eight percent of stalking victims are women. Women are significantly more likely than men (60 percent and 30 percent, respectively) to be stalked by intimate partners. (Center for Policy Research, Stalking in America, July 1997)
• Eighty percent of women who are stalked by former husbands are physically assaulted by that partner and 30 percent are sexually assaulted by that partner. (ibid)

Stories[top of page]>

CASAS is collecting stories of experiences with violence. Sharing your story and reading about others' experiences can sometimes be empowering and comforting.

Add your story by e-mailing pws@wwu.edu

"It was four weeks ago. I am sixteen years old. He was a friend. I barely knew him, but what I did know was that he was the kind of guy that would never notice me. When a friend told me that he wanted to ask me out, I was thrilled. Over the weekend I thought about what I would say, when he asked me out. I wasn't sure- I didn't know him that well, but it didn't matter anyways. By Monday, he already had a different girlfriend. I was bummed about it, but I kept on going about my business.

On Friday, I found out that we had a field trip together. I was happy to get to hang out with him, even if he had a girlfriend. On the trip, he told me that she'd dumped him. I wasn't sure how to react. I said that I was sorry- but he really didn't seem to care about it. We spent all day at a ropes course together- and he acted like he wasn't interested at all- so I just went about my own 'only friends' attitude. When we were about to head back home he asked if I'd sit on the bus with him. I accepted and thought about what we'd talk about. When we got on the bus, he was sitting by the window in the back, and I was sitting in the hall. He asked if we could sit across the isle. I didn't think about why, but he waited for me to sit by the window seat. I didn't figure it out until after it happened. He didn't want anyone to be able to see me.

We started going home- and he put his hand on my knee. It didn't bother me, it was a friendly gesture- and it wasn't inappropriate at all. As we started to go, he started to massage my leg. He'd keep turning around and every time he would, his hand slid up farther. My heart raced. I didn't know what to do. It wasn't really happening. Finally, his hand was on my genitals. He was massaging harder and harder, and I was looking out the window- my eyes watering. I felt like I was somewhere else. I looked up the bus at the teachers. I hoped that they'd look back and see that something was wrong. I kept thinking that they'd save me- but they never did. I could see his face through my peripheral vision. It was unreal. He didn't look like the person I knew. He looked like someone else.

Finally- we got to school. He acted like nothing had happened. And so did I. But when I got off the bus my eyes started to water.. I saw my friend Megan, and I walked up to her. She asked how it was- and I couldn't say anything. I just motioned for her to follow me, and we walked into the bathroom. That's when I slipped into silence. I couldn't tell her what happened, or anyone else. I still can't talk about it. I see him every day. He looks at me and pretends like nothing happened. I hide behind my hair and my schoolwork.

I keep thinking that it never happened. But it did. If I could talk again, I would just say no."




"I was 18 and he was my first boyfriend. I'll call him Taylor even though it's not his real name. Taylor was way more experienced in dating and sex then I was. He was my first real kiss. I told him from the start that I didn't want to have sex so that we could have an understanding. He agreed and said that he respected my decision to wait, but not a day went by that he didn't let me know he was thinking about having sex. Two weeks into our relationship, he asked me to give him a blow job. I said I didn't feel comfortable doing that yet and he told me he was sorry for bringing it up. We started cuddling which lead to kissing, which was normal, we always kissed. I closed my eyes to enjoy the closeness of my new boyfriend and then opened them because I felt a weight on my stomach. He was on top of me and had unbuttoned his jeans. I was an inch from his erect penis. He held me wrists down and told me that I was doing this to him. I tried to object but I was scared. I was afraid that if I didn't do it he would push sex on me. I was afraid of him being mad and calling me a prude. Mostly, I think I was afraid of being alone. I didn't have much time to think before he pushed his penis in my mouth. It tasted horrible and I felt strange. I started crying and he asked me why I had to make him feel guilty like that, why I made him feel like an asshole. It took me four years before I could call that rape. I kept thinking that it was my fault, or that other girls had it worse, or that I was being baby about it, or that oral sex wasn't rape. The truth is that forced sexual activity of any kind, penetration of the mouth, anus or vagina by a penis or other object is rape. It felt good to finally label my pain. There is something empowering about labeling your pain and then being able to move on with the healing process." -Female Western Student




"I was 25, I was in the army, I was confident, I was raped! It was Friday, my "friend" had been to see me. We had had a good dinner, some drinks, good conversation, and good "relations". I was in my pajamas ready to go to bed early. At nine my colleague (let's call him John) came to visit me, he had been drinking too. I asked if he was hungry, I had plenty of left-overs. He had some dinner and we continued to drink. About thirty minutes after John arrived another of our colleagues (let's call him Billy) arrived with his friend, another soldier (let's call him Tom). I fed them as well. We all continued to drink. Now, this is were my story becomes hazy. At some point we went down to Tom's apartment (he lived a few stories below me). His apartment was as small as mine, 356 sq ft. On the left he had a queen size mattress on the right was a computer. The computer was on and had the most alluring screensaver. It was a woman on her knees leaning forward, she was naked. Although she was curvaceous and beautiful, what I remember the most were her eyes. She had the most astounding eyes. The next thing I remember is being in my apartment. I was sitting on my bed, John was passed out on the floor next to my bed, Billy and Tom were standing around me. I was throwing up in a paper bag. One of them were feeding me ramen noodles. When I was not throwing up, I was leaning up against Tom's chest for support. I could not support myself. I remember Billy and Tom arguing about who should stay with me. They did not think I should be alone. They agreed that Tom should stay, since he worked in the hospital. After that, I passed out. Hard movements, someone was moving me around, something was pushing me, pushing up into me, it hurt, it was hard, it was big, it was fast. I woke up. I was on my side. Tom was behind me. It hurt. It was hard. It was big. It was fast. Tom was hurting me. He was . . . I asked what was going on, what was happening. Then I started pushing him. Thats when he got up. He had a weird facial expression. He almost looked shocked. It was as if I was wrong for waking up. He ran out of my apartment. It was 4.30 am. I had just been raped. I reported it to the police, did a rape kit at the hospital, talked to a detective. He will be prosecuted both in the military and the civilian justice systems for 2nd degree rape. I know he will be convicted in the military and hopefully also in the civilian."

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