Help When You Are Stuck In Disordered Eating

Sometimes we are stuck in a maze of our own making and could use a helping hand.

In the beginning, disordered eating can give us the illusion that we are more in control, but over time it can take over our lives, consume us in shame, and stifle our spirits. With support, healing is possible. With the cultivation of our own curiosity and a willingness to explore our own stories, the path of recovery will be illuminated. Check out these resources to learn more about on and off-campus.

On-Campus Resources

Off-Campus Resources

The Free Community Eating Disorders Peer Led Support Group

The Free Community Eating Disorders Peer Led Support Group helps individuals overcoming eating disorders and related issues. This free support group meets every Wednesday evening from 7 to 8:30 PM at St. Joseph's Hospital, South Campus 809 E. Chestnut.

Contact: Jane Pless-Dalrymple at (360) 319-0806 for more information.

Overeaters Anonymous For Compulsive Overeaters

Weekly support group for people who are compulsive overeaters, offering a 12-step program based on the AA format. Group works on the root causes of overeating and offers emotional support via telephone or e-mail. No pre-registration is required; feel free to attend.

Call (360) 676-2279 for more information.

Tips for Talking To A Friend

If you are worried about your friend’s eating behaviors or attitudes, express your concerns in a loving and supportive way. Discuss your worries early on instead of waiting until your friend has endured the damaging physical and emotional effects of eating disorders. In a private and relaxed setting, talk to your friend in a calm and caring way about the specific things you have seen or felt that have caused you to worry.

Set a time to talk.

Set aside a time for a private, respectful meeting with your friend to discuss your concerns openly and honestly. Timing is important: find a time and place away from other distractions.

Communicate your concerns.

Share your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about your friend’s eating, exercise, or purging behaviors.

Ask your friend to explore these concerns

Ask your friend to explore these concerns with a counselor, doctor, or nutritionist who is knowledgeable about eating issues. If you feel comfortable doing so, offer to help your friend make an appointment or accompany your friend on their first visit.

Avoid conflicts or a battle

Avoid conflicts or a battle of the wills with your friend. Chances are good that your friend will deny or minimize any problems. People who are struggling with eating disorders often feel intense shame about their behaviors, especially binging or purging. Common reasons for minimizing or denying their struggles include:

Not wanting to burden anyone
Wanting to solve their problems on their own without anyone’s help;
Fearing losing the control they feel that eating disorders provide.

If your friend refuses to acknowledge their struggles, or denies that there is any reason for you to be concerned, restate your feelings of concern and caring and leave yourself open and available as a supportive listener. It may take the 57th attempt or the 109th person to express their caring for someone to be ready to seek help.

Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt

Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt on your friend regarding their actions or attitudes. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements. For example: “I’m concerned about you because I see you skipping meals.” Or, “I feel afraid for you when I hear you vomiting.” Also acknowledge that we are all impacted by the cultural messages to look a certain way. Share a story about your own struggles to accept your body.

Avoid giving simple solutions.

For example, "If you'd just stop, then everything would be fine!" Or, “It’s not healthy for you to only eat salad.”

Express your continued support.

Remind your friend that you care and want your friend to be healthy and happy.

If you are still concerned with your friend’s health and safety after talking with your friend, call the Counseling Center. We are here to help.